if i can run in heels then i can drive
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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