just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Randomize
