Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
