I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Randomize
