How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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