went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
