i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
