never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
