She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Randomize
