I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
