We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
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