Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
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