That's intense
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
