I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I just forgot I was standing up.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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