Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
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