Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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