I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize