I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Randomize
