$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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