His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
