Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(732): View more from New Jersey

I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.

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(651): View more from Minnesota

It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.

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(404): View more from Georgia

the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...

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(305): View more from Florida

I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.

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(804): View more from Virginia

Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.

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(214): View more from Texas

Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go

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(541): View more from Oregon

Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!

(306): View more from Saskatchewan

I want to be you.

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(760): View more from California

Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.

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(760): View more from California

Dude what happened last night?

(732): View more from New Jersey

I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.

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