Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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