All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
