There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
