I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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