That's intense
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
