I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
