i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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