im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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