JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize