and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
