based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Michael Bay diarrhea
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
This baby is an asshole
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Randomize
