A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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