I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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