Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize