Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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