I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
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