i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
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