WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
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