My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
