just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
