my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Randomize