Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
