I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
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