Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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