i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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