He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
