You're completely useless in the revolution.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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