Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
