I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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