I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
