Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
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