Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OPIZZABONMYDICK
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
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