yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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