she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize