i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Panties = found
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