and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
A bitchslap is in order.
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