There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
