he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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